damjamboy:

• i don’t know shit

• i don’t get stuff

• and i don’t understand things

beachdeath:

• jeff bezos didn’t sign a pre-nup
  
• and cheated on his wife of 25 years with a married woman
• and washington state is a community property state, meaning that all assets acquired during a marriage are divided equally upon divorce
• meaning that jeff bezos has to give his wife half of his net worth
• and he is presently worth $137 billion
• and half of $137 billion is roughly
• $69 billion

elliesgaymachete:

idk why Sandra Oh’s comedy chops surprised people like I know she’s been a drama actor for years but never forget her roots and the pinnacle of comedy for her role as Vice Principal Gupta in The Princess Diaries (2001)

smallest-feeblest-boggart:

thatsbelievable:

Birds control time! They do this out of spite.

Makes sense

mariesbookblog:

faded-mind:

theangelshavethetimeturner:

invite-me-to-your-memories:

i understand the historical reasons why English is the most common language

but if I was writing a speculative fiction novel

and I said “the language that most people learn as a second language, usually for professional reasons, is also the only one with a spelling system so terrible that spelling words correctly is a broadcasted competition”

you’d be like “extremely unrealistic 0/10”

i never thought of this, do other languages not have spelling bees?

#no we don’t

What

lividlovers:

It’s extremely important to realize that you were beautiful before someone noticed and you’ll remain beautiful in their absence.

Your beauty is not subjected to who values you for it.

donkeykongsixtyfour:

grahancoxon:

(to the tune of uptown girl) uptown rat. he wears a very silly pointy hat